What Stray Cats Can Teach About Love

Many years ago when I was in college I was adopted by a beautiful gray and white tiger stripe cat. She was fiercely independent but once she learned to trust me, she was one of my best and most loyal friends.

“Smokey” had a very interesting choice of life mate. She was lovely in every sense, shiny sleek coat, clear vibrant green eyes…she was the most beautiful natural born killer I had ever met. Despite her physical grace, beauty and her independence when survival was concerned, she chose an old rag tag miserable Tom to pledge her fidelity to.

She certainly had more handsome beaus. They would frequently stop by the house in multiples to fight over her. She seemed uninterested in their attempts to woo her, and she was a scrappy enough fighter to keep them at bay when they had given up their seduction techniques and turned instead to brute force to have their way with her. Instead, she saved her affection for one black miserable old cat with chunks out of his ear who dispassionately displayed the scars of many years on the street. She would flirt with him and tease him shamelessly to no end.

When she had his kittens, he paced in front of the opening to the garage where she was giving birth. After the third kitten had come he walked slowly up the stairs, touched her nose with his and left.

I was confused about her life mate choice, so I decided to learn more about her partner. I sat out on the garage steps night after night and waited for “Toffle” to come by for a visit. He usually came to grab a bite to eat, and then he would be gone for the evening. The way he looked at me, I knew that touching was not allowed.

As the weather began to cool Toffle would come for his nightly visit, eat and then sit beside me for a while before he left. Eventually I was brave enough to extend a tentative hand and touch his dirty black fur. He tolerated this for several minutes before he quickly turned his head and attempted to nip me. Lucky for me, I am a cautious person by nature and had my eyes fixed on his body. When the nip came I was quick enough to pull back without being injured.

This routine continued for weeks. We went through October and into November.. he would sit after the meal I provided, I would stroke him with a vigilant eye, always careful to stay alert and avoid the nip that would come when he had had enough. Finally in early December during one of these sessions he stood up from where he had been sitting and looked at me. He then very tentatively made a step into my lap, curled up peacefully and fell asleep. I was smitten.

I was the only one that he would allow near him. I had put in my time and had earned his trust and affection. He didn’t demonstrate any desire to allow any other human beings into his life, and never sat in anyone else’s lap. I watched one day as a visitor to the house extended a friendly hand to him only to receive a nasty scratch that broke the skin. Toffle had made it clear that he was no friendly Tom and had no need for the approval of any visitor.

I compared the way I felt about this cat to the pretty ones that had come for visits. The handsome friendly cats got affection and attention all the time and also gave it out indiscriminately. Toffle was a loner… to be loved by one that didn’t need my love, and didn’t hunt for affection from every passer by was special. He was a one woman cat.

My little tiger stripe kitty knew exactly what she was doing. Looks and popularity are common. True trust and excusive fidelity are far more rare.