Adventures in Higher Ed

This post was actually written more than a year ago...but the lesson doesn't really change much! Thanks to some reflection after the following story I have changed the way my class works. I have decided that online classes just aren't meant for everyone!

Last week a young man came into my office to talk with me about the grade he was receiving in my class. The class I teach deals with issues involved in becoming a young competent professional and touches on topics ranging from how to write a resume and cover letter to dining etiquette and how to make small talk at professional networking events.

My class is a quarter class which means that the student only has 7 weeks with me rather than an entire semester. We were moving into week 6 as the student was sitting across from me at my desk. He began the conversation by asking if he could drop the class. I told him he was welcome to petition the institution to do so but that the deadline to drop for a quarter class had passed. He would need to go to the next office, get a petition form, have an advisor sign it and provide his reasons for missing the deadline. He would need to pay 50.00 to put the petition forth and would have to wait until after the following Thursday before he heard an answer, as the academic committee only meets on Thursdays.

His eyes got wide and he raised his eyebrows,

Student- "I have to pay 50.00?"

Me- "Yes, if you are interested in trying to petition to drop you will have to pay a fee, and even then it is up to the committee to decide if you should be granted an exception since the policy is you must petition by the drop date."

Student- "I have to pay 50.00 for not even knowing if I can drop it or not?"

Me- "Yes, I wouldn't be able to change it myself even as your instructor. The computer locks me out of the system after the drop date."

Student- "Well, my academic advisor misled me. This is an online course and I don't do very well with online courses."

Me- "Well, you knew that there was an online component when you came the first day of class and I went through the orientation right?"

Student- "Well yeah, but it's online!"

Me- "Yes, part of the class is online but there is an in class component as well...and you have chosen not to attend any but one of our class meetings right?"

Student- (hesitates)...Well, what do we have to do this week?

Me- (beginning to get annoyed at this point) "Did you read the assignment posted to the website?”

Student- Well, I have a learning disability. I didn't understand any of it.

Me- (working to maintain professional composure and openness to compassion). “Well, let’s look at it together and see what it says.”

...reading through the assignments for the week...(trying to think about my own son who has a learning disability and the extra help he needs)

Student- “I have to do what? How am I going to do that? I don't have time to do this!”

Me- (beginning to think that this was some sort of karmic punishment for my bad behavior during the days of my high school academic career)"Well, If you had come to class last week you would have been reminded earlier, or if you had read the assignment you would have known what the expectations were....right????"

Student- “Well, it's part of my personality to be a procrastinator..and I do have a learning disability.”

Me- (Starting to panic that this could very well be my own son sitting across from me in 9 years) “Did your learning disability prevent you from coming to class all quarter or addressing your academic needs with me before we only had a week left in the class?”

Student-“No”

Me- “Have you connected yourself to the services we have on campus for people that struggle with learning disabilities?”

Student- “No, like I said...it's part of my personality to be a procrastinator.”

Me- “Well, even though it might be a personality characteristic, it hardly excuses your position now. How much more time do you have as a student here..when do you graduate?” (Hoping maybe there was still hope to connect the student to someone.)

Student- I graduate at semester

Me- Speechless

When faced with a situation that was unsatisfactory to the student he switched quickly into the victim role. First, it was his advisor's fault. Then, it wasn't his fault because he had a learning disability. Then he didn't have the means to do the assignment. Then, it wasn't his fault because he was born with a personality challenge that meant he was likely to procrastinate.

I wondered how this student would ever survive after graduation. Being the stubborn person that I am I verbally walked him through the story he had just told me and became very passionate about the topic of responsibility. All this is would be quite funny if you had had a hand in raising me I will admit.

When I was 10 years old I actually had a list of most favorite and least favorite words. "Responsibility" was my on my least list. Even now, it is the word that is highlighted most often when I run spell check. Being the oldest of three girls, I can't even count how many times per day I heard that word when my mother would reference my behavior. Having an undiagnosed learning disability myself, I was also well aware that although my spelling seemed hopeless it was still my "responsibility" to figure out how to get my work done and handed in on time. Homework took me twice as long to complete in comparison with my friends. I cried regularly over math homework that made no sense because I hated feeling dumb and because I was clearly frustrating whichever parent happened to be trying to help.

So here I was, with the story that I had, talking with a young adult that was probably about as frustrated as I was after my 6th grade teacher decided to take up 3/4 of my report card writing to my parents about my spelling problem. While I did not yell, the tone of my voice was forceful enough that my quiet colleague across the hall felt the need to get up from behind her desk and shut her door.

As I confronted the student with his behavior choices, I could feel him becoming defensive and I saw his body react to the stress he was experiencing. He began to fidget, get flushed, stutter, and wriggle in his chair. Here was a young man who probably measured a good 6' 4'' and weighed in at close to 300lbs that had probably never been spoken to this way in his life. It quickly changed him before my eyes from an annoyed college student into a nervous little boy.

I could see what was happening and backed off immediately. It was not my intention to hurt him. It was my intention to establish my expectations clearly and hold him accountable for his choices. I expressed my belief that it was completely within his power to use his challenges to build his character even more. I praised him and thanked him for coming in and voiced my belief that if he was able to do that, then there was hope he could make it through the class...if he chose to. We figured out what his grade might be if he completed all assignments and participated actively for the rest of the quarter. He came to the next class, and the one after that, and stopped by my office one day to clarify an assignment he didn't understand because he "Wanted to be responsible and get it done."

I don't share this story to highlight the challenges of another person. My purpose in sharing is twofold. Firstly, we have all been this student in some way at some time in our lives. We have all made choices that we would rather not be responsible for and sometimes, we're just looking for a "loop hole" to get us out of trouble.

Secondly, if we are going to live authentic lives we must also take responsibility for being honest and establishing clear communication with other people. I don't know that this student will change his behavior forever, but I do know that if he ever has a class from me again or needs my help, he will know what my expectations are.

Incidentally, the student I mentioned did pass the class and sent me an e-mail thanking me for our conversation...and then I heard from a colleague a couple weeks later that he was over at the Residence Life department arguing with the secretary and claiming he had been "tricked" and shouldn't have to pay the fine he owed...oh well..small steps equal small victories. Clearly the student will need to be confronted many more times before a more permanent behavior change happens...but don't we all? We all get hit over the head as many times as it takes. The universe is a patient teacher.