What Kind of Truck Do You Drive?

A few weeks ago I had a dream. Before I get in to too much detail you should know that I am known for having some really strange ones. Sometimes, the first thing I say to my husband once we are both up and about is something like, "I had a strange dream last night!" He smiles because he knows it's probably true. He thinks I have crazy dreams.

My dream life tends to be a combination of literal, symbolic, over the top emotional, and what I would best describe as little bits of random information that I thought I didn't know all smushed together into a sort of mental movie soup. Sometimes I remember my dreams, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I wake up realizing I have just witnessed the unfolding of a plot that rivals the most interesting best seller out there. Often I mean to remember my dreams for later but it is not uncommon for my good intensions to be lost while I run the regular pace of my waking day.

Every once in a while I have a very short, yet very involved, vivid, emotionally charged experience that I wake up feeling like I have just lived. These are the ones that stick with me over time. This is the sort of dream that came to me a while back.

I dreamed I was in charge of two trucks. One was a fire truck, and wasn't really mine, but I was the driver responsible for getting to the fire to make rescues. The other was a bread truck. On this particular evening the alarm was sounding and I could feel the anxiety wash over me. I am TERRIBLE with directions, and also have a hard time focusing my energy when I'm overly stressed out. I was so worried about getting the firetruck to the right place that I took off as fast as I could with the sirens on. I bumped over curbs as I cut the corners. I bumped into other objects on the way adding a couple dents to the vehicle I was driving. I made it to the fire and put it out. It took all my effort, all my energy, and my attempt had some pretty major flaws in it. I saw the truck by the curb and noticed all the bumps and scratches it had endured so that I could put out a fire someone else needed help with.

The bread truck was nowhere to be seen. No energy there. No thoughts about that delivery, or when I should be doing that.

The next thing I knew my old friend Tom Powell was standing on my right side. I was still wearing my firefighter uniform and feeling hot and tired. I was glad I made it to the fire before anyone was hurt but really disappointed about the condition of the truck. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Catharine, I don't want any more dents in my truck. We need to find something else for you to do."

I instantly understood that it was time for me to hand over the keys to his firetruck and focus instead on driving my own bread truck. It wasn't that I was unable to drive the fire truck. I had arrived on time and accomplished the mission assigned. It just wasn't a good fit for me. My efforts usually involved some minor accidents, some major stress, and demanded that I focus my scattered mental energy in a way that excluded many other things..or put them on hold while I set about putting out fires.

I've been thinking about this dream in the context of vocational call for the last several weeks. How often are we told in a loving way that we are driving the wrong truck? Tom was the sort of person that could have done that, but how many leaders and managers do? Who can see us well enough to know our talents better than we sometimes do? Wouldn't it be great to work with a boss or supervisor that sees our gifts and asks us to refocus our energy so that we are more in line with what we do well?

All the training in the world would not have taken away the anxiety I felt driving that fire truck.

What kind of truck do you drive? Knowing this might be the first step in becoming more in sync with the unique way we have of "being" in this world. No one does it quite like you. If you know what kind of truck you drive (use your imagination here) maybe you'll have a little more insight when it comes to how you deliver your product or services in real life.

Are you driving a truck that doesn't belong to you? Maybe it's time to leave that one for someone that will do a better job, and invest your time and energy in learning to drive your own.

Delivering fresh bread....yeah...that's my sort of truck.

I'll leave the fire truck for people who are better with driving directions!